Dating for intelligent people
But now that she was dating again, she was worried that her mom might have been onto something. A study published in July, 2015 suggests that she might well have been, much to the consternation of many women—and some men.Lora Park, a social psychologist at the University of Buffalo, and her colleagues Ariana Young and Paul Eastwick studied the reactions of men to women they experienced as smarter than them and found an interesting phenomenon that might very well explain what happened between Sara and John.Then John looked at his watch and said that he had to get going.He didn’t mention getting together again, and that was the last Sara heard from him. There are many possible reasons that John might have decided not to pursue the relationship further: He may simply have decided he was not attracted to her after all, or that she was not as interesting as she seemed in her profile.Everything went smoothly—until they met in person for a cup of coffee.They had many things in common and talked for about 45 minutes.In those tests, male participants were asked to evaluate their sense of masculinity in the situations in which they had been outsmarted or outperformed in front of a woman who might have been a potential romantic interest.
It does seem to be one possible (albeit not the only) explanation for John’s behavior after meeting Sara in person.Fortunately, of course, there are also men and women who do fit the pattern discovered in the research.I have seen and known many men who are close to, romantically attracted to, and in long-term, successful marriages with women who outperform them—and whom they also consider smarter than themselves. After a lot of dates, a few duds, and a period of unsuccessful meet-ups, she met and fell in love with a man who admires and is attracted to her as a whole package—intelligence and all.Being a woman who is too pretty or too smart has advantages when it comes to small gains (free drinks, better treatment, etc) but major disadvantages when it comes to finding long term partners and maintaining friendships.In that respect it is actually good riddance that men who are not confident enough to go for the really great women, focus on average women.