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After I said, “Of course I voted for Hillary Clinton,” his lip curled up like Bob Dole’s hair.I asked that we not talk about politics Instead, I asked him about his childhood. He's a professional swimmer with an athletic body, and he wants children.Sounds like a real catch -- especially if you're a female penguin looking to settle down with the right feathered fellow.The Humboldt penguin lives at the Weymouth Sea Life Adventure Park in the UK.Spruce lives in a colony with 13 other penguins, but they're either already coupled up or males in the same boat as Spruce.

It turned out I was his sugar-water mama, because I paid for our lunch.Technology has already made other inroads into the world of animal mating.A primate park in the Netherlands is taking a Tinder-like approach, using a touchscreen tablet to find out which males catch an eligible female orangutan's eye.But on the Saturday when we planned to meet, it was pouring rain — I might add that my windshield wipers need replacing — and I’d just found out I was being lured to a residence. I ordered blackberry pie à la mode and a Diet Coke.I persevered, asked him if we could meet in a public place instead and was redirected to the Black Bear Diner in Walnut Creek. He had an omelet, pancakes and water with sugar in it.

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Friends see pictures of my ex-boyfriends and accuse me of fucking with them.

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